The following is poetry I wrote when I was experiencing high levels of anxiety.
Fidgeting, in a loud room, I am.
100 people are telling me they care but I'm not really there.
All I can hear are the disembodied voices of probable chaos. WHAM!
Any of those things could happen. I could be excommunicated, ridiculed, shunned, or worse: told by someone, "Yeah, I lied. I don't care."
I fear I do not know what is real and what is not. Am I all right or am I my worst thoughts? A lost little lamb?
How do I find the truth? His all-knowingness, I wish God could share.
I am terrified I've ruined all the brighter probabilities. That the friends I can begin to envision a life with, won't be in my life at all. Doors permanently shut. SLAM!
Perhaps I should isolate myself once more. You tell me, is it not smart to keep my heart safe from a tear?
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